[ he supposes he's glad he's being given a warning this time. it's not the first time someone has praised him, confident that he would succeed, fully intending to take their own life. it's not something he consciously thinks about, but there it is.
he hadn't succeeded back then. he hadn't saved anyone. not the people. not her. he can't help but see his annabel in the Tree, that vast presence he wanted to call alien, but only because he was still too human to comprehend it at the time fully. she was not alien at all, but parts of the same whole; like a fractal ā the shape of a human soul is the same as the shape of the ten billion is the same as the soul of the planet that sustained them. it's the scale that reaches out and touches upon the primal fears in his head, the ones that are instinctive and hard-wired into the meat. john wonders if this will change him like it had the last time.
he's much more confident now, though, and for good reason. john had done this when he was still just a man. ]
Iā.. yes. That will do fine.
[ it takes him a second or two to realign himself with the present. ]
Potentially advantageous, in fact. I have adjusted my theorems and made use of the wards, but a lot of this is hypothetical, given the uncertain nature of the Tree. If you handle that, I will have more freedom to focus on the work.
no subject
he hadn't succeeded back then. he hadn't saved anyone. not the people. not her. he can't help but see his annabel in the Tree, that vast presence he wanted to call alien, but only because he was still too human to comprehend it at the time fully. she was not alien at all, but parts of the same whole; like a fractal ā the shape of a human soul is the same as the shape of the ten billion is the same as the soul of the planet that sustained them. it's the scale that reaches out and touches upon the primal fears in his head, the ones that are instinctive and hard-wired into the meat. john wonders if this will change him like it had the last time.
he's much more confident now, though, and for good reason. john had done this when he was still just a man. ]
Iā.. yes. That will do fine.
[ it takes him a second or two to realign himself with the present. ]
Potentially advantageous, in fact. I have adjusted my theorems and made use of the wards, but a lot of this is hypothetical, given the uncertain nature of the Tree. If you handle that, I will have more freedom to focus on the work.