( Do not make him beg, not again. He will lower himself to it, he will do anything he has to. ) ]
When you accepted my challenge, Minegishi Gen. That if I won, I would take you somewhere you could be new and precious. That's when you asked me.
[ In truth, he did expect Gen to break his promise. Not because he's Gen, but because nobody ever really keeps their promise to a traitor-god, a god of betrayers and schemers and evil. This must be what he reaps, he thinks, blinded with the sudden wash of something empty and cold. His mind blinkers out, as if suddenly, he has stopped existing all together. Like he is gone, and all that is left is a memory of him. ( Like he has slipped away, like he will, if Gen breaks this between them. )
( He thinks — if Gen does this, he will deny him everything. He will make sure Gen lives eternally, alone, unseen and locked away in a space so small he cannot draw breath into his lungs, until he cannot remember who he did this for at all. ) ]
I wanted you to choose me, [ he whispers, finally. A rasp in his voice. The same thing he has said, because no matter what Gen thinks, it is the truth. Whether he thought he would lie or betray him or not, there was still the terrible, yearning desire that Gen would see Set's promise for irrefutable truth. That he wouldn't have to test the limits of it, until someone breaks. ] I thought you could break your word, because... you want to win, too. You want to die, more than anything else.
[ He still cannot exist in the join of their minds, emptied out and hidden as he is. Inches from throwing himself into Gen's arms and pleading. He has no dignity, Osiris ensured he would never have pride or dignity or power when it comes to Anubis ever again. Maybe that is why he is drawn to Gen — because in some ways, he fills a space where someone once was. ( He cannot, he cannot think that way, because Gen is Gen. He is horrible and cruel, but he is also the boy who Set held in his arms in the roots and promised to fight against and for. )
Instead, he snaps: ]
'Being there' for someone like you, is just what I want to do. You annoying brat! I want it, and I will not be told I cannot have it because you have it in your head that you can get what you want by acting like this! Amos Burton can tell me to stay away from you all he wants, people can look at me as if I am a traitor to Meridian's stupid, disgusting cause — ! I do not care, I want what I want!
cw the usual toxicity between them
( Do not make him beg, not again. He will lower himself to it, he will do anything he has to. ) ]
When you accepted my challenge, Minegishi Gen. That if I won, I would take you somewhere you could be new and precious. That's when you asked me.
[ In truth, he did expect Gen to break his promise. Not because he's Gen, but because nobody ever really keeps their promise to a traitor-god, a god of betrayers and schemers and evil. This must be what he reaps, he thinks, blinded with the sudden wash of something empty and cold. His mind blinkers out, as if suddenly, he has stopped existing all together. Like he is gone, and all that is left is a memory of him. ( Like he has slipped away, like he will, if Gen breaks this between them. )
( He thinks — if Gen does this, he will deny him everything. He will make sure Gen lives eternally, alone, unseen and locked away in a space so small he cannot draw breath into his lungs, until he cannot remember who he did this for at all. ) ]
I wanted you to choose me, [ he whispers, finally. A rasp in his voice. The same thing he has said, because no matter what Gen thinks, it is the truth. Whether he thought he would lie or betray him or not, there was still the terrible, yearning desire that Gen would see Set's promise for irrefutable truth. That he wouldn't have to test the limits of it, until someone breaks. ] I thought you could break your word, because... you want to win, too. You want to die, more than anything else.
[ He still cannot exist in the join of their minds, emptied out and hidden as he is. Inches from throwing himself into Gen's arms and pleading. He has no dignity, Osiris ensured he would never have pride or dignity or power when it comes to Anubis ever again. Maybe that is why he is drawn to Gen — because in some ways, he fills a space where someone once was. ( He cannot, he cannot think that way, because Gen is Gen. He is horrible and cruel, but he is also the boy who Set held in his arms in the roots and promised to fight against and for. )
Instead, he snaps: ]
'Being there' for someone like you, is just what I want to do. You annoying brat! I want it, and I will not be told I cannot have it because you have it in your head that you can get what you want by acting like this! Amos Burton can tell me to stay away from you all he wants, people can look at me as if I am a traitor to Meridian's stupid, disgusting cause — ! I do not care, I want what I want!