Entry tags:
BUTLR OVERFLOW ( SALTBURNT )
SET
saltburnt

I know how to get into every single one of your rooms. This is a threat.
AGE | N/A MILENNIA+ | HEIGHT | 6'0" | |||
SIGN | 𓃩 this is me | JOB | GOD OF WAR & THE DESERT | |||
SEXUALITY | EXPLORING? | DIET | VEGETARIAN | |||
SMOKE | YES | DRINK | YES |


HUNTINGCOMBATSPORTSINTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION GOING HOME

MENTOR(S)SERVANT(S)WORSHIPPER(S)
SWIPE RIGHT
SWIPE LEFT
cw: suicidal ideation
if i had been alone?
the field wouldn't really work that way, but if it did, i don't think i would still be alive. there were times that i wanted to die, anyway, and the others helped me out of it. we needed each other.
the vampires were the ones inflicting things we didn't want on us. sex between men, between us, that was good.
cw violence/sexual violence, femicide
The men in my world are the monsters. After they devoured their wives, sisters and daughters — they turned upon one another. They strove to kill, trade in flesh, abuse one another in life and death the way they had the women of my lands. We have no "vampires" to cause mortals grief. There is just the evils of men, and the god that allowed it.
[ Men inflict pain, agony. They dominate, and force others to submit. ]
You must understand that your comfort in other men is foreign to me. It is not unheard of, but not something I ever experienced. I would have thought a man who had gone through what you had would have been far more embittered to the abuse of his body.
Yet, there you were. Kindly and patient. In a way I never could be.
no subject
i am so sorry for what happened in your world. to you. to your women.
lexi talks sometimes about how humans destroy each other, how we're no better than the vampires. maybe he's right.
maybe anyone who has power will use it to hurt other people, and power itself is the problem.
i don't want to be that way. i don't want to hurt anyone else, i'd want them not to go through what i did.
but i'm not perfect. it took me a long time to see lexi as anything other than another vampire. longer still, to trust him. and still now i only trust that he cares about me, not that he would do any good for the rest of my people. i'm bitter enough. but that's not how i want to live. what's the point in having freedom if i'm still living in that cage?
no subject
Save your lamentations solely for the women. I would not be so quick with your sympathy for me. I only was speaking of all the work Osiris put me to fighting his wars, while he sat easy as God Supreme! And coveted my wife! Stole the lineage of my own child to "reward me with family", and told me it was because I was DEFECTIVE as a man.
I am the god that poisoned my land, after all.
The stories you tell among one another are not so different. I wanted power. I took power. And I wanted to hurt people.
I wanted to know why you would not. Do you not want to lash out and harm... Lexi? He is a vampire, whatever that is. You were tormented by vampires. You could take it out on him, a little.
no subject
well, i love lexi. i don't want to hurt him, that's the last thing i'd want.
but i have, lashed out at others. i did when i was young, i have a lot of scars for a reason.
and then. more recently, when one of them meant to kill me, i lashed out and i killed him. that's how i escaped from my field. and then on the road, there were others, and i killed them every time.
it just looks and feels like light to me, but it's dangerous. it turned them all to ash. it comes out when i'm in danger but it's inside me all the time.
i don't want that to happen when i don't mean it to. there's nothing good about hurting anyone else.