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IC INBOX ( KENOS ).
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█ To Commune with Set is to stand barefoot in an endless, scorching desert. The sun illuminates all, scalding the shadows themselves out from underneath whomever enters his dominion; the arch of gentle, distant, waves of sand mask the precarious chasms, towering dunes akin to mountains. The sense of vastness, timelessness, is of particular notice, lending itself to the alien, eldritch quality of his mind. There is a dark storm in the distance, and you know intimately that this divine being is far from benign. You cannot bargain with a force of nature. You can only survive it. |
SEEING THIS ICON AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It's clear Anubis would maybe not believe Set for a plethora of reasons, and D isn't sure if he should alter the perception by reassuring Set, or hurt Set by continuing with what would be appropriate.
He watches Set worry the end of his arm with pale fingers, unbothered. The sensation is there, surprisingly, and it doesn't hurt. The only difficulty is periodically having ghost arm sensations; trying to reach for something, feeling as if the weight of the rm is still there. No one, no man has ever stroked his arm with such fatherly affection; however, he has seen paternal love reflected to him through the better humans of the Frontier. He's seen it, what he's never had, enough to understand it's love. That's love.]
Why would he do such a thing?
[Next best tactic: see if Set will tell him more about what's happening so he doesn't have to answer yet. It's fine.]
cw sa allusions, mental instability 8)
Set would rather die. Or, he'd rather destroy the world than be honest with anyone, let alone his precious son, about it. He has to protect his child, even from himself and his disgusting weakness. His shame. ( The warped shape of "love" and "desire" that he inspired in someone who was good, and mighty. The truth that Set corrupts all he touches. )
He curls a little over the stump of D-Anubis's arm and strokes it, a worrystone, cradling warmth in his palms as he tries to comfort the other. D might not need it, but some wild part of Set's hindbrain is lost in the familiar motions of a father who was once very, very gentle with his child. ]
O-obviously for revenge, [ he says, words that once were thought by him, before Osiris's mad obsession with Set was so boldly declared. I live for you, said the God of Life. ] You at least remember that I killed him. He made sure you forgot everything else though — that has to be it. And then, Yima — she brought you here for me, to save you. Because she...
[ He shivers, soft and wild-eyed. ]
Well, she wants me. And Kenos wants us together again... because we're family. I have your — oh! I have pieces of your soul! [ Like a lightbulb's gone off, he sinks claws into D. Drags him close and twists on his heel, trying to drag him off into the house — ] If I put them back, you'll be whole. I can help you remember!
AAAAAAAAAA HE'S BREAKINGGG
D goes along with the pull, but is a bit stiff with hesitation, uncertainty. His mind reaches back into the old depths for knowledge of a history lost to time where he's from. Pieces of his soul? Anubis's soul. Egyptian gods, Egyptian deaths... Jars. It's parts in jars, and he suddenly has a better understanding.
Carefully, he pulls up short, reaching out with the hand he has left to catch Set by the arm and keep the man from charging forward, determined.]
I don't think it's going to work that way. [The less he goes with even more things put inside him, tested on him, the better.] I think you know it isn't going to work that way, too.
She isn't going to give you what you want.
[Now he's just a disobedient child, noooo.]
WHY DID YOU DO THIS!!!!!!!
Yima understood. She, too, had lost children. Wanted nothing more than to have them back, and her deep pain would always resonate with Set, who truly could destroy his world in order to free his child from Osiris's grasp. It is that child and their shared promise that keeps him on the path of Meridian, and right now... D is refuting it. He doesn't remember their promise, he can't wait for Set to finish his atonement because he won't be there. ]
She's given me more than you know. [ Even though he loathes her for her inconsiderate love, he cannot deny that Yima gave him strange freedoms and wisdom in spite of his adherence to Meridian. She's waiting for him, and he's promised himself to her if he fails. He can't fail right now. He tries to wrench D forward, hand closing around his wrist and the weight of his bicep, stepping back through the doorway and into the house. He'll drag him if need be.
I can fix this. I need to fix this. I don't need her to give me anything, Kenos supplied it all! You came here, I have your soul — [ well, parts of it; not a shard, just the ba, ka, ib, and shut ] — and I know how to manipulate a soul!
no subject
The strength in Set is commendable. D staggers forward, slipping through the threshold of the door before he can get the power to halt briefly again. A righteous sort of flame licks up in him, twisting his expression.]
You can't be sure she hasn't given you lies. I thought you were lamenting being swayed into a trap.
[It's a bit mean, but still. Maybe the factions are another trap.]
Let go. I won't have pieces of another inside of me. If you want him back, you must fight for the worlds returned. What makes you believe putting what you have inside of me will help?
no subject
Because the moment I catch her in a lie, I will never join Zenith. I do not want to be lied to, even if the truth is agony. And she wants me! For some reason, I know she wants me in particular — I am powerful, I have authority, I am — !
[ Desired.
( Maybe it comes back, in the end, to being desired. Wanted, and fought over and coveted in a way that doesn't come with grabbing hands and cruel mouths. Meridian rejoices his presence in their Faction, Zenith is deeply wary of him but wants him for themselves. They have to. )
His own son doesn't want him, though. Anubis hates him; doesn't remember him or their lives together or their promise, and when he looks at D he continues to see the empty, cold eyes of his child become a god in full and intrinsically know that is is Osiris who fathered him. Not who raised him and taught him and hurt him and vowed to atone for him, but who fathered him. ]
Do not lecture me on fighting for anything, I am this war!
[ His voice pitches, a caterwaul of anger and acute despair. ]
If I return the parts of you that you lost, you will — be whole again. Are you not curious about what "a Shard" really means? A shard is a piece of something. And in my possession is the rest of you. Anubis, it is your soul.
no subject
The taut cord of Aspect in D thrums with disruption as the Discord mounts from Set's insistence. He pulls back again, but not harshly. Firm. Wary.
Somehow, it sounds exactly like a parent is admonishing him for talking back!! He's being scolded for getting mouthy...]
Do you really need to catch her to know they are always lies?
[D's wide, dusty lips turn downward pensively. Will Set feed the parts to him? Cut him open to stick them inside him? Try to force his body to assimilate them somehow?]
It isn't the same.
[Is it? Not in reality, though maybe to Set. The parts wouldn't be like having another Shard shoved into him, one he didn't know, right?]
Are you saying a Shard is a piece of a whole?
no subject
[ Meridian. Zenith. What if instead of being overt lies to manipulate everyone, there is a truth to them? What if that is what it comes down to, and what matters is the truth one wants to embody the most? If neither Faction is lying, then the might of Meridian's Shard-Bearers and the Oracles they claim is what will save worlds. What will return him to his child, while maintaining their promise, instead of forcing him to disappoint his child by being weak and desperate for him.
In a way, having D before him sends him into a spiral. A tailspin of desperation, where he both knows and does not know who he speaks to; he wants to go home to Anubis, he does not have to go home because Anubis is here. Anubis wants to start over, to remake their family. Anubis and he can start over here, in this place and in the future. He will disappoint his son. He will make his son happy and safe. Anubis doesn't remember him. Anubis will, if he can fix it.
Set's expression betrays how he is: a cornered animal, trying to figure out which direction to go. He settles on the question asked of him. Questions are good, for he is a Savant. A god of unparalleled strength, and the secret to it was his intelligence. ]
Is that not what its title implies? A shard is a broken piece of something. The soul has multiple pieces — the ba, ka, ib, shut, khet, and ren, as I understand it. Kenos is a different place than our home, but. There are obvious connections. My sister's temple in the Beyond affirmed it for me.
[ for him,
he could be ENTIRELY DELUSIONAL about everything that's the fun part ]