IC INBOX ( KENOS ).

[redsoil]

█ To Commune with Set is to stand barefoot in an endless, scorching desert. The sun illuminates all, scalding the shadows themselves out from underneath whomever enters his dominion; the arch of gentle, distant, waves of sand mask the precarious chasms, towering dunes akin to mountains. The sense of vastness, timelessness, is of particular notice, lending itself to the alien, eldritch quality of his mind. There is a dark storm in the distance, and you know intimately that this divine being is far from benign. You cannot bargain with a force of nature. You can only survive it. COMPATIBLE WITH: Exalt, Iconoclast REPELLED BY: Advocate

♠

Comments

immediately post-timeskip; cw for suicidal ideation + pseudo-incest this whole thread

[appeale]

[ Rudbeckia wakes in a bed of feathers and fur, but her first thought is: Ah, I don't want to do this again. she doesn't want to go about living for another pointless day. how can she go out there and sit beside Cesare, as though he didn't just take everything good she had managed to hold in her hands and turn it to poison all at once? how can Iske possibly look at her without drawing his sword to kill her? he's going to kill her. he should kill her. she should never have—

there's no feeling of relief once the realisation trickles in that this is Kenos, not Arundel. it doesn't matter. those things that she once thought she could leave behind her have now rotted her from the inside out, and no amount of distance can change that. no, worse than that – this is a curse that follows her. it must be. something about her is so fundamentally awful and wrong that it corrupts all she comes in contact with. she was a fool all along to have even tried.

and because she is a wretched, selfish, cruel thing, her mind reaches out. ]

Set?

[ even at the first brush of her mind against his, Rudbeckia hardly resembles her old self. she is more lost ghost than girl. so many vital pieces of her are missing: her fear, her warmth, her burning desire to survive, even the deep lake of her sorrows. everything has been scraped out of her, leaving behind something hollow and cavernous, pitted and ugly. nothing can take root in the barrenness of her heart. every emotion passes through her without leaving a mark at all.

her love for him remains. the red desert sands still cover her bare feet. but the sands are cold, now, and she cannot bring herself to touch them. ]

I'm here. I'm sorry I went away.

[redsoil]

[ Her waking mind, haze from the passage of time and the amassing of experiences, seeks his — and of course, of course he chooses to embrace it. To gather her too-small form into his arms and tug her off her feet, wrapping her spine and the back of her blonde head in his hands to cradle her close. What has happened to her? How is it that she is so emptied out and hollow, now? ]

You came back, is what matters.

[ To him, of course. To this place, which is still a hellscape, but at least they are together in it — able to rely on one another for validation and meaning, comfort. He'd gone away once, too. Soon after firing the weapon upon Highstorm, soon after dying to Amos's hands, he'd found himself far away in Egypt again, living out memories he had yet to experience as if he were there. And he had been there. Time was a strange ocean, for a god, after all. ]

What happened, Ruby? You have lost so much of yourself. Who, or what, took it away?

[appeale]

[ he asks such a simple question, and she cannot answer it. what happened? how long has her life been this twisted without her knowing? what happened is this: Iske loves her. what happened is that he chose her, accepted her, protected her in ways she never thought anyone would do in a world where Set wasn't there. what happened is Rudbeckia tricked Iske. she fooled a good, noble man into giving her something precious that she didn't deserve, just for the sake of her own survival. what happened is nothing more than the plot of the damn novel catching up to her at last. what happened is this: Cesare—

It'll always be you and me.

ah.

Ruby's mind fractures. it spirals into senseless hysteria, and she claws desperately away from her own memories, nausea rising in her. she's pathetic. she feels like a child, refusing to look because she doesn't want to accept that something is real. why did he do that? why did he have to ruin everything? a worse, and far more frightening thought – can she really pretend that was his intention in the first place? she saw the look in his eyes. it wasn't malicious, it wasn't a scheme to punish her. in that moment, Cesare de Borgia was just an ordinary man who— ]

Can I come see you?

[ a small, weak voice. ]