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IC INBOX ( KENOS ).
█ To Commune with Set is to stand barefoot in an endless, scorching desert. The sun illuminates all, scalding the shadows themselves out from underneath whomever enters his dominion; the arch of gentle, distant, waves of sand mask the precarious chasms, towering dunes akin to mountains. The sense of vastness, timelessness, is of particular notice, lending itself to the alien, eldritch quality of his mind. There is a dark storm in the distance, and you know intimately that this divine being is far from benign. You cannot bargain with a force of nature. You can only survive it. |
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[ Bitterly said. The impression of Set's irritation is that of someone who's already had to deal with someone else similar to Archangel in his life, and not desiring to have another one. Still. Dextera is speaking, and he unknits his bristling mind and attempts to smooth it out before the young man, to let him speak without worrying about the god's temper. ]
What is it that you did, then? Begin at the beginning for me.
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I destroyed the world.
[ his tone is even as he reports it, but with the words comes a crushing guilt. they spoke about this before, in a way, but dextera’s allusions to the state of his home offered no real insight. now, saying it plainly, it almost doesn’t feel real. ]
I… I don’t remember why. Or how. But I did.
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As ever, Set's intensity is a smoldering thing. Painful, maybe, to those sensitive to scrutiny. ]
To confirm. Are you aware that you did, or did the Archangel tell you that you did?
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My earliest memory is of pain. I committed a grave sin… there’s nothing else this ache in my chest could be. The Archangel was there when it happened.
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[ Until proven otherwise, he will believe that Dextera speaks correctly about his knowledge and pain. Set is no stranger to memories in disarray, nor the subtle, yawning ache of a thing that's gone missing. 'A grave sin', he calls it, and Set wills himself not to turn his eyes down upon the dark ring that surrounds his wrist — the subtle, sinister nature of the hatred and agony of thousands, packed away into a wearable curse. ]
— why do you feel you need the Archangel for your salvation?
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[ even that, though, has been called into question. dextera pauses, leaving the space of communion between them briefly heavy, but he’s not seeking set’s reply just yet. he wants to continue, but it takes an effort to sort through all his feelings. ]
I told you before. I’m… I have a power I didn’t ask for. I have responsibility I didn’t ask for. You were born the way you are, weren’t you? I wasn’t. I never wanted to be a god or anything like that.
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I was born to divine parents, and I was born divine in nature. However, I was not born a god.
[ It is an admission, low and honest. But, more importantly is what Dextera says to him. ]
What happened to you, Dextera? How did you become a god, then? What responsibilities are you burdened with?
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…
[ there’s a soothing release in set’s touch, and dextera sighs, allowing some pain to be pressed out if only in this temporary space. ]
I was given the power of the Absolute God. To set the world right. That’s what I’m supposed to do… I’m supposed to create a new, perfect world, and preserve that perfection with the Archangel’s guidance. But I don’t want it! I don’t want to create anything. I just want to go back to the way things were.
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Even if you did harm to the world, you are part of it. You could choose to abandon it, to shed responsibility and sin and start anew. You have not, though. Instead, you make a similar choice to me. To take your power and return to a place that may hate you, to atone for what you did. And you have come to me for — what is it, Dextera? What is it you want from me?
[ Curious, rather than interrogative. ]
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I want someone to know. Someone who won’t… think less of me, for what I did. And for what I’m failing to do.
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[ He'd trashed his own world, after all. The fabric of existence had judged him evil for it, and the Ennead cast him into obscurity and banishment for such wicked deeds. Permitted to atone, to set things right, before returning for the rest of eternity to labor upon Ra's barque. ]
You were very unsure of yourself, when we returned from the Isles. I saw you grow in conviction during the debate. You asked the right questions, you relied on your will — and, you made a choice. You chose not to fail anymore. So, did you choose this path as the mortal Dextera or as the Absolute Dextera?
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he still takes this praise as if it was the archangel delivering it, in an ideal world. he wants to hear it. ]
I thought… the “person” that I am would choose Zenith. There’s something precious I want. I thought I was only here with the Meridian because of my duty.
[ for him to speak like that obviously means he’s changed; he doesn’t need to specifically point it out to set. ]
…does it mean I’m losing my “self” to that responsibility? Do you have to be a god with everything that you are?
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It may not be the same for you, though. Perhaps you will be a more human god, than most.
[ He is strange, even for a god, at that. Estranged even within his own family for his unknowably independent nature. He doesn't fit the criteria that defines the rest of the Ennead, and thus has always been — apart from them. Either more or less. ]
When I spoke with Cyrus, he mentioned that Meridian is not "purity" or "goodness". I do not think siding with Meridian makes either of us good people. Just as those who side with Zenith are immediately 'bad'. You can be greedy for what is precious to you, on either side. It is simply 'hope' against 'acceptance'.
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Are you happy with your fate?
[ he asks the question, but he doesn’t seem satisfied with it. ]
Or… is it just the way things are? Without any pain or joy attached.
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More the latter. I do not think of it, at all. It simply is, for me.
I know that if I were to think of fate as something to be happy or unhappy with, I would be unmade. Such freedom is for humans, not gods.
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Are you jealous?
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Tch.
No. I believe to be jealous, I would have to want something about them or their lives, and I do not. I do not covet their powerlessness and existential anxiety, nor their dependency.
[ Though he says rough things, he doesn't seem to begrudge them for such 'weaknesses'. It is as though he states fact, rather than opinion. Weird brains, gods. ]
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at least, from dextera’s perspective. ]
I see.
[ finally, dextera seems to be satisfied, even without perfect clarity into his own future. ]
…thank you, Set. And I’m sorry for the Archangel.
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It comes on the heels of being thanked, rather than Dextera's apology. ]
Do not let him lead you without question, Dextera.
You may come to conclude that his way is the true way, but do not do that without first examining your desires fairly. You and he are unique unto yourselves. My wife often said that to her humans. Maybe it will serve you, too.