IC INBOX ( KENOS ).

[redsoil]

█ To Commune with Set is to stand barefoot in an endless, scorching desert. The sun illuminates all, scalding the shadows themselves out from underneath whomever enters his dominion; the arch of gentle, distant, waves of sand mask the precarious chasms, towering dunes akin to mountains. The sense of vastness, timelessness, is of particular notice, lending itself to the alien, eldritch quality of his mind. There is a dark storm in the distance, and you know intimately that this divine being is far from benign. You cannot bargain with a force of nature. You can only survive it. COMPATIBLE WITH: Exalt, Iconoclast REPELLED BY: Advocate

♠

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after the manon debate (voice)

[passio]

[ things have settled down; against all odds, a conclusion has been reached. there’s still time before they can act on it, with manon’s shard apparently requiring an endless stream of purification, but there are other things to do.

all his conversations with set seem to come to the same point, so it feels like the time now to explain what he can, and to learn from set exactly what he is, in turn. the god of war, yes, but dextera doesn’t know what that means to set—only what it would mean in his own world.

seeking him out like this, communing with only him… there’s some hesitation, but dextera knows it will serve them both to speak. ]

I said I would tell you about myself. I hope you’ll listen.

[redsoil]

[ Diplomacy is dumb!!!!!!!! There's a reason he'd left it to his older siblings, the division of labors between them a thing that had eventually grown into a rift of understanding and blindness to one another's stresses. Following the debate over Manon's fate, he'd gladly taken his leave of the situation — focused on continuing his deal-making for the next Oracle match, now with the cost only being to himself. Surely that would satisfy the others.

And he waits for Dextera's presence, as well. Remembering that the young man had asked him to listen to something, and that he had said he would. Dextera would come when he was ready, and he would find no obstacle in the way of their Communion, but the broad, open frame of a sandstone doorway; Set's consciousness beyond it, pooled into the shape of humanity. ]

It sounded important to you that I did, so I will. At your leisure, Dextera.

[passio]

[ set makes it feel so easy, and that’s frightening, in a way. when dextera feels comfortable around someone, he’s usually misguided—but perhaps because set is so boldly who he says he is, there’s no real deception beyond the little lies that are told by anyone in the day to day.

he can almost see himself, like the table of diplomacy still in his mind’s eye, laying his head on set’s lap. the communion might tip that way with a little pressure, but dextera remains only voice, cautious with his touch. ]

Do you know the Archangel?

[ he’ll start there. that will make things easier, he thinks. ]

[redsoil]

[ BABY BOY????? BABY????? LAYING HIS HEAD DOWN???? my heart ]

That wretched fxcking man.

[ Yeah, he knows Archangel. In fact, he has quite an interesting few meeting with him — one more recent than the last, and far more worrisome than the first. His feelings are obviously mixed in regards to him - at once loathing of the lilting, forgiving smile he speaks with and craving it in brief, segmented flickers. In one area of his mind, he sees the blonde as he is. In another, he sees him as his own brother; smiling, dangerous. ]

We met the moment I crawled out of the dirt below the tree. He claims he wishes to save me, as though I am in need of salvation!

[passio]

[ dextera hadn’t expected such a vehement response, but it doesn’t surprise him once he thinks about it. the archangel can inspire that kind of resentment in people, and especially from someone like set, their personalities are utterly incompatible. ]

…yes. He wants to save me, too.

[ he’s quiet, as if to balance set’s frustration. ]

But I need it. I did something terrible, and the only way for me to fix it is through the Archangel’s guidance. At least… until we came here.

[redsoil]

He seems delusional.

[ Bitterly said. The impression of Set's irritation is that of someone who's already had to deal with someone else similar to Archangel in his life, and not desiring to have another one. Still. Dextera is speaking, and he unknits his bristling mind and attempts to smooth it out before the young man, to let him speak without worrying about the god's temper. ]

What is it that you did, then? Begin at the beginning for me.

[passio]

[ delusional… perhaps he is. perhaps he’s the only one who isn’t. dextera can’t truly say without speaking to the archangel further, but there’s no question he’s more grounded than most of the survivors. ]

I destroyed the world.

[ his tone is even as he reports it, but with the words comes a crushing guilt. they spoke about this before, in a way, but dextera’s allusions to the state of his home offered no real insight. now, saying it plainly, it almost doesn’t feel real. ]

I… I don’t remember why. Or how. But I did.

[redsoil]

[ The god of war is many things, but judgmental of a young man speaking frankly to him is not one of them. Certainly, he can be a judgy bastard, but not right now. This is an essential moment for Dextera, and he accords himself with composure. It's the image of a man seated at the same level as Dextera, with his hands held loose in his lap and eyes fixated upon him. Not flinching, nor disregarding him.

As ever, Set's intensity is a smoldering thing. Painful, maybe, to those sensitive to scrutiny. ]

To confirm. Are you aware that you did, or did the Archangel tell you that you did?

[passio]

[ it’s not the first time this question has been asked of him, but he’s no more capable of giving an answer than before. an old friend, a realm before—he, too, had doubted dextera’s ability to destroy an entire world and put more faith in the archangel’s ability to lie, but dextera is nonetheless saddled with agony of guilt. ]

My earliest memory is of pain. I committed a grave sin… there’s nothing else this ache in my chest could be. The Archangel was there when it happened.

[redsoil]

I believe you.

[ Until proven otherwise, he will believe that Dextera speaks correctly about his knowledge and pain. Set is no stranger to memories in disarray, nor the subtle, yawning ache of a thing that's gone missing. 'A grave sin', he calls it, and Set wills himself not to turn his eyes down upon the dark ring that surrounds his wrist — the subtle, sinister nature of the hatred and agony of thousands, packed away into a wearable curse. ]

— why do you feel you need the Archangel for your salvation?

[passio]

He’s the only person who’s ever tried to help.

[ even that, though, has been called into question. dextera pauses, leaving the space of communion between them briefly heavy, but he’s not seeking set’s reply just yet. he wants to continue, but it takes an effort to sort through all his feelings. ]

I told you before. I’m… I have a power I didn’t ask for. I have responsibility I didn’t ask for. You were born the way you are, weren’t you? I wasn’t. I never wanted to be a god or anything like that.

[redsoil]

[ Softly, painfully softly for someone styled as a god of war and violence, he slips his fingers through the ends of Dextera's dark hair. He curls his hands out, towards the impression of Dextera's pained posture, gliding them to the center of his shoulders and presses. Firm, to coax him towards a release of tensions. ]

I was born to divine parents, and I was born divine in nature. However, I was not born a god.

[ It is an admission, low and honest. But, more importantly is what Dextera says to him. ]

What happened to you, Dextera? How did you become a god, then? What responsibilities are you burdened with?

[passio]

[ divinity begets divinity. it makes sense; it’s how things should be. mortals should not be able to become gods, no matter what the archangel thinks of himself, or of dextera’s capabilities. just because the god they have made mistakes doesn’t mean her creations would be better. ]

…

[ there’s a soothing release in set’s touch, and dextera sighs, allowing some pain to be pressed out if only in this temporary space. ]

I was given the power of the Absolute God. To set the world right. That’s what I’m supposed to do… I’m supposed to create a new, perfect world, and preserve that perfection with the Archangel’s guidance. But I don’t want it! I don’t want to create anything. I just want to go back to the way things were.

[redsoil]

Then, do not create a new world. You would have chosen Zenith, if that was your true wish.

Even if you did harm to the world, you are part of it. You could choose to abandon it, to shed responsibility and sin and start anew. You have not, though. Instead, you make a similar choice to me. To take your power and return to a place that may hate you, to atone for what you did. And you have come to me for — what is it, Dextera? What is it you want from me?

[ Curious, rather than interrogative. ]

[passio]

[ that is the difference between set and the archangel. set simply tells him that his choice is valid, even if it will ultimately hurt. the archangel’s words aren’t nearly as kind. ]

I want someone to know. Someone who won’t… think less of me, for what I did. And for what I’m failing to do.

[redsoil]

Were I to judge you for the harm you did your world, I would be a grand hypocrite.

[ He'd trashed his own world, after all. The fabric of existence had judged him evil for it, and the Ennead cast him into obscurity and banishment for such wicked deeds. Permitted to atone, to set things right, before returning for the rest of eternity to labor upon Ra's barque. ]

You were very unsure of yourself, when we returned from the Isles. I saw you grow in conviction during the debate. You asked the right questions, you relied on your will — and, you made a choice. You chose not to fail anymore. So, did you choose this path as the mortal Dextera or as the Absolute Dextera?

[passio]

[ it might be unfair to compare the two of them. dextera hadn’t known they knew of each other until he asked, but they comport themselves in similar ways. dextera can imagine set among the koriel—a sly, but necessary, addition to those who thought they knew best.

he still takes this praise as if it was the archangel delivering it, in an ideal world. he wants to hear it. ]

I thought… the “person” that I am would choose Zenith. There’s something precious I want. I thought I was only here with the Meridian because of my duty.

[ for him to speak like that obviously means he’s changed; he doesn’t need to specifically point it out to set. ]

…does it mean I’m losing my “self” to that responsibility? Do you have to be a god with everything that you are?

[redsoil]

I only know how it is to be a god of the Ennead. When we ascend, we shed our old selves and become someone new — new power, new social ties, new rights and responsibilities as gods. We no longer have the ability to deviate from our fates, either.

It may not be the same for you, though. Perhaps you will be a more human god, than most.

[ He is strange, even for a god, at that. Estranged even within his own family for his unknowably independent nature. He doesn't fit the criteria that defines the rest of the Ennead, and thus has always been — apart from them. Either more or less. ]

When I spoke with Cyrus, he mentioned that Meridian is not "purity" or "goodness". I do not think siding with Meridian makes either of us good people. Just as those who side with Zenith are immediately 'bad'. You can be greedy for what is precious to you, on either side. It is simply 'hope' against 'acceptance'.

[passio]

[ it gives dextera some insight into why set said the things he had, made the decisions he did when they were talking about manon’s fate. in retrospect, too, dextera can understand the zenite perspective a bit more—odd, when he’s speaking to one of his own, but set obviously is only as loyal as he needs to be. ]

Are you happy with your fate?

[ he asks the question, but he doesn’t seem satisfied with it. ]

Or… is it just the way things are? Without any pain or joy attached.

[redsoil]

[ Perhaps he should have expected such a query, eventually. It isn't one he thinks of, to be fair. ]

More the latter. I do not think of it, at all. It simply is, for me.

I know that if I were to think of fate as something to be happy or unhappy with, I would be unmade. Such freedom is for humans, not gods.

[passio]

[ they live very different lives, then, even in their godhood. dextera isn’t sure if he’s disappointed or relieved to hear that he’s not like set—what it means is that he can’t expect set to provide him answers, only experience. ]

Are you jealous?

[redsoil]

[ Only experience! Even gods are unique in personality, although not in parameter. ]

Tch.

No. I believe to be jealous, I would have to want something about them or their lives, and I do not. I do not covet their powerlessness and existential anxiety, nor their dependency.

[ Though he says rough things, he doesn't seem to begrudge them for such 'weaknesses'. It is as though he states fact, rather than opinion. Weird brains, gods. ]

[passio]

[ this has all been enlightening in a way dextera hadn’t expected, so he’s considerably more at ease as their discussion turns philosophical rather than factual.

at least, from dextera’s perspective. ]

I see.

[ finally, dextera seems to be satisfied, even without perfect clarity into his own future. ]

…thank you, Set. And I’m sorry for the Archangel.

[redsoil]

[ There is a faint jolt that runs through their connection; the reaction of someone who didn't expect a balloon to pop, for the water to be exactly as cold as it was, for the peal of laughter that follows an attempt at opening a pull-door by pushing upon it. Shocked, and then filled with a heated embarassment.

It comes on the heels of being thanked, rather than Dextera's apology. ]

Do not let him lead you without question, Dextera.

You may come to conclude that his way is the true way, but do not do that without first examining your desires fairly. You and he are unique unto yourselves. My wife often said that to her humans. Maybe it will serve you, too.